Men Reveal the Horrifying Ways They Injured Themselves While Masturbating

You’ve probably heard crazy stories about adventurous sex acts that land people in the ER. But some times things go awry while masturbating. Of course, telling people you injured your junk while having solo sex is, well, embarrassing. That’s why it’s better to lie, according to these guys on Reddit.

In a recent thread, a poster asked others to share their embarrassing injuries and the tales they told to save face. Although people revealed injuries that had nothing to do with their genitals, several guys copped to trauma related to solo sex.

“I dislocated my kneecap while masturbating. Lied and said I was falling off my bed when I woke up from a dream,” one person admitted. “Felt and sounded like the knee equivalent of popping a knuckle. Then very severe pain.”

Another story, which can only be described as horrifying, left a guy drenched in blood. Apparently, the man’s hand slipped and bashed the tip of his penis. He didn’t feel pain, but explained, “…When I looked down, blood was squirting out, and not just a little blood, a lot of blood. I was wearing a white shirt.”

Of course, this is a pretty crazy story, which is why the poster told others he accidentally punched his penis–as if that’s any less embarrassing. Thankfully, the user was better within a couple of days and suffered no lasting damage “apart from the occasional PTSD and nightmares.”

And finally, one guy shared a cringe-worthy penis injury that occurred while sleeping.

“Friend of mine broke his dick while rolling over with morning wood off the bed. He got his super hot GF at the time to say it happened during sex,” he wrote.

Of course, the lie was hard to maintain since it took six months for his friend to fully recover.

“He was laid up legs spread open for a month and another two before he could walk again. It was six months before he was back to normal. His wife, same girl just married him, later told us the truth during a Christmas drinking game.”

It goes without saying you want to avoid these horrific experiences. Here’s how.

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