The Mysterious Case of Heidi Montag's Missing Tears on Son's First Birthday

The Hills alum Heidi Montag is giving God all the credit for son Gunner’s first year. A kind of, sort of emotionalish Montag posted an Instagram Story on Monday (captioned "I’m a mess!") in which she appeared to wipe away nonexistent tears of joy.

It’s OK, honey. You don’t have to force the tears. You can love your baby without having to be "a mess." We promise. We still love you. 

“God is amazing. Gunner is just such a blessing, and I can’t believe it’s already been a year,” Montag said. “It’s been the most amazing and challenging year of my entire life. But it’s just been so great, every moment.”

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Montag and her hubby, Spencer Pratt (another Hills alum), had a professional photo shoot done of their birthday boy, and damn it — that kid is really stinking cute. We have to hand it to Gunner. He’s humanized his parents (formerly known by their couple moniker, "Speidi") in a way we could not have seen coming. Nice job, little guy. You have a bright future in public relations. Especially if you keep dressing like that. That newsboy cap and tweed vest? Fab.

“I can’t believe it’s been one year already! Little love and light of my life!” Montag wrote on Instagram. “You made all my hopes and dreams come true. I prayed for you my entire life, and you are beyond what I could imagine.”

And guess what Gunner wanted for his first birthday? His very first french fry. Montag posted an Instagram Story saying she took her little guy out for lunch then jewelry shopping at Jennifer Meyer’s boutique. Just what every little boy wants for his first birthday!

“Whatever you want, you can have!” Montag joked at the boutique. “You want something for Mommy? You’re so sweet.” 

Later, there was a birthday hike, presumably to work off the single french fry. Gunner dodged that by falling asleep. And, you know, by maybe not knowing how to walk yet. Nice move, bud.

Papa Pratt also reveled in his son’s first birthday via Instagram. “Happy birthday ‘miracle baby,’” the Pratt Daddy Crystals founder (no, really — look it up) wrote. “Thank you for infinite blessings.”

And speaking of infinite blessings: We’ll all get to see a whole lot more of the Montag-Pratts on MTV’s new unscripted The Hills: New Beginnings. You think we’re kidding. Nope. The series reunites original cast members — remember Audrina Patridge? Justin Bobby? Or was it Bobby Justin? Either way, we can’t wait.

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