‘Fantasy of sex with my married friend now a reality but can I take it further?’

Dear Coleen

I have become very close friends with a couple I’ve known for more than 20 years. I’m a man and I’m 13 years younger than the guy and about seven years younger than his wife.

I have always found her attractive and had fantasies about her, but I never thought it would become more than that as they are happily married with two children.

We have been on numerous holidays together and stayed in the same lodge, and everything has been great.

Not long ago we were all at a party and got very drunk. As the night went on, people drifted off to bed and my friend’s wife and I stayed up.

From out of nowhere we started kissing. One thing led to another and very quickly we were lying on the settee undressing each other.

We pretty much did everything possible and I’ve never felt so much love for a woman as I did that night.

I’ve no idea what to do now. I still play golf with her husband and I’d hate myself if I were responsible for breaking up their family. But at the same time, I want to be with her again.

When I told her about the fantasies I’d had about her over the years, it turned her on even more and she wants us to meet up in a hotel, saying: “No one will ever find out. Let’s just have a bit of fun.”

I know I’ll fall in love with her though, which would make life unbearable every time I saw her.

Coleen says

Don’t go there. Firstly, whatever you think now, you will be found out no matter how clever you are.

I’ve known people who’ve had affairs for 10 years and then been discovered. And these days, with social media, you haven’t a hope in hell.

That aside, this woman clearly has no intentions of having a relationship with you – she just wants some fun, but at what cost?

I think it’s a road to disaster and lots of hearts will get broken.

If she’s having issues in her marriage, she should either be making an effort to sort them out or leave her husband.

I get that this is exciting and you’ve fancied her for ages, but where can it possibly lead? You’re shaping up to be her bit on the side and that’s it.

Until she comes to you saying she’s left her husband, I would be ruled by your head, not your heart – and steer well clear.

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